“If you really believe in what you’re doing and something may be missing, there is your duty right there, to provide for what may be lacking.”  Rusty Wells on how Urban Flow came to be.

It started with an idea: to create a donation based studio in the heart of San Francisco where ALL people could come to practice yoga.

The vision was simple.

Over the past seven plus months, the result has been beyond profound.  A community, a family, has grown.  And, this family continues to grow as this beautiful ripple of service, of devotion, of connection touches more and more lives.

Urban Flow, also fondly referred to as the “living room”, is a place of refuge, a sanctuary even, where every single person who walks through the door is treated with kindness, dignity, respect and, most of all, love.

When we allow our lives to become a life of service, then our lives become truly full.

Please watch this video to get an understanding of what it is all about.

Urban Flow Yoga: How This Came To Be from Urban Flow Yoga on Vimeo.

(re-published from Urban Flow’s blog)

I often hear teachers say that my front heel should line up with my back heel in Triangle and Revolved Triangle Pose, but this makes me feel like I am on a tightrope. I feel very unbalanced and I find myself putting everything I have into just trying not to fall over.  Does my alignment have to be this way to really be in these poses?

Consider this…within every posture there should be the possibility of spaciousness, expansion, stability and evenness.

Chances are, if you are “putting everything you have into just trying not to fall over” you are probably gripping and holding on very tightly, closing off, collapsing to some degree and, most likely, losing the connection to a deep, rhythmic and stable breath.

There should be no constriction, no closing off.  For Trikonasna, instead of imagining that you are between two panes of glass, Rusty likes to encourage us to grow and open, to create space and a deeper connection to the breath.

The poses are tools that allow us the opportunity to expand, to open and to feel a sense of spaciousness.  If creating this exact alignment of heel to heel is preventing these things from happening, then, yes, definitely, modify.

You can modify by simply widening your stance slightly and bringing your front foot just a few inches closer to the edge of the mat.  Feel for what is right for you.  This will eliminate that “tightrope” feeling and will, hopefully, allow you to feel more stable, more grounded and more expansive.  Notice the difference and continue to modify as you need.  It might change over time and perhaps one day you may find it much more accessible to establish that heel to heel alignment.  Perhaps not.  But, that doesn’t really matter.  What matters is that you are breathing while maintaining stability, evenness and expansion.

For most of us, it is rather easy to speak with kindness to others.   Occasionally, we might slip and maybe get a tad testy with someone else- like the insistent telemarketer who just happens to call us at that bad time night after night even though we have gently told them before that we are not interested in whatever it is that they are calling about, for example.  But, most of time, we extend kindness, compassion and just overall decency to each other without even having to think about.  It’s just what we do.

However, when it comes to how we speak to ourselves, the story might be a bit different.

During a meditation class a few years ago, we were directed to notice the moments when our focus was carried away from the awareness of the breath by distractions, and, and this was the real zinger for me, to notice how we spoke to ourselves in those moments.  Hello…wake-up call.  I couldn’t believe it. When I actually paused to notice- not so much what I was saying to myself because that in and of itself was pretty benign, something along the lines of “let that thought go and come back to the breath”- but more of HOW I was speaking to myself, I was really horrified. The tone of my voice was filled with all sorts of judgment, criticism, disappointment, irritation, and all the other blah stuff you can think of.  I was being so mean to myself and judging myself up and down and all around for not being able to meditate well, which is kinda funny in and of itself.  There was no compassion, no kindness, no acceptance or forgiveness in my voice.  I wouldn’t speak to anyone the way that I noticed that I was speaking to myself in that moment!  And, here I was trying to be in this space of acceptance, tranquility, union, peace!

Growing up, one of my mom’s favorite things to say to her somewhat spirited daughter was “check your tone, young lady.”  It was pretty obvious that she was referring to how I was speaking to her and probably my brothers and sisters, too, and it only took me until after the junior high years to really get a grip on that. But, up until that pivotal meditation moment, I had never ever considered the tone that I was using to speak to myself.  I had never considered the immense power of what we say to ourselves and the way in which we say it.

The way we talk to ourselves- what we say and how we say it- contributes to the creation of our emotional state and attitudes which then determine how we react and interact with the outside world.  Self-criticism is one of the most violent and self-destructive patterns possible and only leads us into these internal scuffles with ourselves.  Noticing my inner voice that day made me realize that I was engaging in this war within myself- and, seriously, who benefits from that?

Have you ever noticed how you speak to yourself?

Have you really listened to what you say and how you say it to yourself- in all sorts of moments- not just moments of disappointment- but also in moments of joy and success (whatever ’success’ actually means)?

Have you ever considered how others would respond if you spoke to them the way that you speak to yourself?  In my case, at least, I can guarantee that I wouldn’t have half the friends that I do now.

It is a practice.  It is a practice to notice the chatter and to notice what it’s saying.  It is a practice to notice if we give it strength and power to continue in that internal struggle.  It is a practice to notice our thoughts, but to notice them without judgement and without attacking ourselves even more- to notice the chatter, to notice the tone of the chatter and then to make a conscious decision to let it go, over and over again.  To breathe it out and to breathe in a really robust inhalation that is filled with kind words, kind tones and loving acceptance.

We have the power to transform how we treat ourselves.  We have the power to choose kind words and to speak with love and compassion to ourselves.  Speak to yourself as you would speak to your best friend, or to the love of your life, or to a parent, or maybe even your dog.  Just see what happens.  Just notice how it makes you feel to be kind to yourself.  If you like how it feels, then keep trying it again and again.  And, perhaps, this will become the way that you naturally speak to yourself and the love that you have for yourself will continue to grow.

Sanakurata1: photobucket.com

If you’re brave to say ‘goodbye’, life will reward you with a new “hello.” ~Paulo Coelho

I can’t remember where I heard this, but I wish I could because I would really like to pay tribute to the brilliance of this little allegory.  Thank you to the source wherever you are and whoever you are.

Consider this….

If I were to stand in the middle of a room (really, it could be anywhere in a room, but the middle just seems to add a slight dramatic flair) and hold a full bottle of water in my hand for a few minutes before setting it down, I would be completely fine.  No pain. No suffering.  Just the experience of holding on to the bottle for a short while.

If I were again to stand in the middle of a room and hold on to the very same, full bottle of water now for a couple of hours, I would surely start to experience an increasing amount of discomfort. My arm, my hand, my shoulders, my back, and other places of my physical and, likely, emotional self would be aching and hurting.  Some pain.  Some suffering.

Now, if I were to stand in the same room and hold on to the same bottle of water for an entire day, a whole 24 hours, the ache would escalate to the point of agony and maybe injury.  The fatigue and strain on my muscles and joints would be acute and I would likely be in a state of physical and emotional exhaustion. Extreme pain.  Extreme suffering.

When it’s physical pain, it is obvious.  We search for the source and we do what we need to do to alleviate the pain.  But, when it comes to emotional pain and emotional suffering, we just keep holding on and on and on…

Why?

Maybe we keep holding on because we are too scared to let go.  Maybe we believe that if we keep tightening our grip, the water bottle might change and become what we want it to be or what we think it should be.   And, when it doesn’t change, the water bottle takes the blame for the resulting pain.  Maybe even more significant, is that it is just a water bottle.  It’s just a simple water bottle.  But, it is the experience of holding on to the water bottle that changed the perception of it.  It became identified as a source of pain and suffering only after holding on to it so tightly and not being willing to set it down.  Obviously, the water bottle is never going to change to become something else no matter how long or how tightly we hold on.   So, what would make us think that any emotional baggage that we might be carrying is going to change?

But, really, it’s not even about the water bottle itself.  It’s about the holding on and the gripping and the tightening that we commit ourselves to for days, months, years and even perhaps lifetimes and the pain and suffering that results from this.  It’s really all about letting go of that, loosening the grip, creating space and easing the suffering.

The water bottle represents anything that we are holding on to that is no longer serving us,…heartache, unrealized dreams or ideas about who we should be, doubt, insecurity, hurtful words that we either said or that were said to us, resentment, fear of failure, fear of change, fear of anything, loss- really it can be anything.  It can even represent an attachment to something positive that we might be holding on to too tightly.  When we hold on to anything, be it more positive or more “negative,” we close off and eliminate any space for anything else so that all we have is the attachment itself.  But, by loosening our grip, by setting it down, we create space for something new, for something good.

What are your attachments?

What are you holding on to that is depleting your energy? That is causing you pain and suffering? That is no longer serving you?  Maybe it’s a whole laundry list of things.  Maybe it’s just one really big thing?  Either way, perhaps just start with one thing or maybe even a piece of the very big thing and identify what it is.  Write it down.

Can you loosen your grip a little bit?  Can you maybe set it down for a moment and just see what it feels like to be free of the burden?  If you need to pick it back up again, that’s OK because at least now you will have experienced the freedom from that suffering, even if just for a moment.  And, then you might be more inclined to set it down over and over again until you have completely let go.

Everything has its purpose- even fear and anger and frustration.  But, when those things start to cause more hurt and more suffering, that is when it is time to let them go.  That is when it is time to recognize that the water bottle is now doing more harm than good, to set it down and to stretch out all of the places that were tightening and closing off from the all of the holding.

I know I posted this on facebook a while ago, but I just couldn’t help myself. 

Put it on your list of things to do for every day of this week.  Right at the top of the list to be sure that you get to it.

Probably better if you write it in all caps.

DON’T FORGET TO BE AWESOME.

The truth of the matter is that you already are awesome.  This might just help you to remember.

This might just help you to turn down the volume on the internal critic,  and instead to remember that you are an awesome being whose life is filled with awesome moments.

Maybe this week, we can choose to see, embrace and, above all else, ENJOY that awesomeness.  Because life is so much more fun when we feel awesome!

Happy June.

Summer Nights, fireflies by Debbie Flood www.debfloodart.com

How much do you love summer?  It is absolutely my favorite time of year.  Every element of life seems to be infused with a little more vibrancy, a little more brilliance.  Everything comes alive in the summer and, with that, I believe we cannot help but become enlivened, too.

When I was growing up, my family spent much of the summer at Lake Wawasee in northern Indiana.  It is absolutely my favorite place in the world.  So combine my favorite time of year with my favorite place in the world and that pretty much equals one ginormous slice of heaven.  We spent all day every day letting our skin be kissed by the sun, swimming in the lake, jumping off the pier and playing king of the mountain on the raft that doubled as a bouey and was covered with that indoor/outdoor green carpeting.  We ate ridiculously fresh peaches that almost couldn’t contain their juiciness before we bit into them and we shucked Indiana corn for dinner that we bought from the vegetable stand in town, so appropriately named Sweet Corn Charlie’s.  And we spent so many warm summer nights running free under the big sky, laughing with uninhibited delight as we chased fireflies.

So, for June, I couldn’t help but choose Tittibhasana as the pose of the month because it embodies this same joyful play, this lightness, this freedom that chasing fireflies did for me as a little girl.  But, just because this pose can be playful and fun, it doesn’t mean that it is easy. Please approach it with profound awareness and even a little bit of caution, being absolutely committed to taking care of yourself the entire time.  Don’t just launch yourself into it. It takes time to build into the complete expression of any posture- so allow yourself that time as you begin to explore what it feels like and what it will take to take it a little deeper.  If you would like to read more about this posture and some good preparatory poses, Cyndi Lee wrote a in-depth article about Tittibhasana for Yoga Journal (follow this link  Light Up and Fly by Cyndi Lee).

Tittibhasana, firefly pose,  is a powerful arm-balance that helps to stretch the back body and the groin, while strengthening the core and the legs.

Here is a step-by-step guide to taking that firefly flight.

1.  Stand with your feet just about shoulder’s distance apart.  Come into an easy forward fold and place your hands down onto the earth just in front of your toes.

2.  Bend your knees so your hips are more in line with your knees.  Think about bringing your torso in between your legs as you tuck your left shoulder behind your left thigh, placing your left hand onto the earth to the outside edge of your left foot with your fingers in the same direction as your toes.  Depending on your flexibility, your left hand might be a bit behind your left foot.  Do the same with your right arm, really bringing the shoulders behind the thighs.  Make sure that your neck and shoulders remain relaxed.

3.  To initiate the lift, engage your core and shift your weight out of your feet and back into your hands, literally but lightly sitting on your triceps.  Engage your adductor muscles in your legs to help keep the inner thighs as high up  on your arms as possible.  You can bend the elbows here as you would in chaturanga dandasana.

4.  Keep your hips lifted, and with a big inhale extend your legs as straight as you can and press out through the roots of your toes, keeping your toes happy and alive. Engage the quadriceps and feel the kneecaps lift as you press the backs of your legs down into your arms.  If you can’t straighten your legs, try to cross your ankles in front of you.

5.  As you press down into the earth with your palms, straighten your arms as much as you can.  Feel the space between your shoulder blades press up toward the sky as you hollow your chest and let your shoulder blades widen down the back.

6.  If your neck is comfortable, lift your head slightly so that you can look straight ahead.  If this is strenuous on your neck, blow it off and just look towards the earth a foot or so in front of your fingertips.

7.  Remain in the pose for five breaths, remembering to keep your core engaged, your legs straight and strong, your arms strong and your upper back pressing to the sky.

8.  On an exhale, carefully return your feet to the ground.

9.  Unwind and move into Uttanasana, standing forward fold, for approximately five breaths.

Sounds so simple.  But is it really?

One of the traditions of my high school is to attend a four day retreat during senior year, which I did a remarkably long time ago now.  It’s an emotionally exhilarating, intensely profound and crazy bonding, life-changing experience that is filled with thought-provoking discussions,  late night deep talks, heartfelt letters from friends and family, tears and laughter and hugs and heavy emotion.  It is a group of 17-year-olds who are just trying to understand more about who they are and what their place is in the world while discovering that, despite how worthy or unworthy they may deem themselves to be, they are profoundly, unconditionally and exquisitely loved by many many people.  It is an intense and remarkable experience.

I still think a lot about one of the talks that someone gave during my retreat.  I didn’t really get it back then.  Or maybe I got it, but I was too afraid to actually admit that I did get it because of the self-exposure and vulnerability that, I believed, would have followed.  The talk was about wearing masks. The idea is that throughout our lives, and even more specifically, throughout any given day, we choose from our myriad of masks and hide our true selves behind whichever one seems to be most insulating and protective at that time.  We hide because we don’t want to expose who we really are.  We hide because we are afraid that if we allow our true selves to be truly seen we will be rejected, ridiculed or dismissed. And that is just way too big a risk- especially at that really tender age of 17.  So we protect ourselves.  We pretend to be someone other than who we really are.  Because it seems to be so much easier to let the perceived criticism of others roll off the back if they aren’t really even criticizing who we are anyway.

After the talk, we broke up into our groups and our group leaders asked each of us to identify our favorite “go-to” masks- the ones that fit so nicely that we just loved to keep wearing them.  And so it went around the circle, one-by-one, my honest group members exposing their vulnerability and divulging their moments of inauthenticity.  I honestly remember the feeling of the anxiety rising inside of me.  I was not ready to be so open and so raw- so real.  It came to me and I reached for that really worn-in mask that allowed me to look like I had all my shit together- the one that  (I thought) kept me from looking scared and insecure and so very uncertain about who I was. I put it on and it fit just right so I “confidently” said to my dear, sweet, non-judging friends “I honestly can’t think of any- I really don’t ever wear any masks.”  Just like that.  Point blank lied to the kind beings who were only holding the space for me to be completely genuine and truthful.  It felt just as awful when I said it then as it does now remembering it.  But, they knew I was not being honest.  And they even knew that I knew I wasn’t being honest- at least I sure hope they did!  But I loved them then and I love them now for knowing that I wasn’t quite ready to put that mask down- that I needed to hide behind it just a little bit longer, just long enough until it wearing it started to become really uncomfortable and tiresome- which it inevitably did.

That’s the thing.  It eventually becomes much harder to wear the masks than it is to be authentically and completely who we are.  Living in that place of fear becomes pretty lonely after a while.  We discover that the fear is only blocking us from our truth and just plain getting in the way of us living a full and vibrant life.  The masks become barriers instead of protection.  They become obstacles instead of insulation.  And, maybe we begin to experiment with just setting the masks aside for moments, and then days and then even longer as we experience what it feels like to be truly loved and accepted and honored for who we really are. We realize that by removing the fear and removing the barriers, we open ourselves to this more profound and genuine love.  We can land in our own truth and discover how much more comfortable it is to reside there than it ever was to hide behind an illusion.

The illusion only creates a false sense of love and self and everything else that is latent with expectations for how we want something to be and we become so attached to those expectations.  We start to cling to them and become really grippy and graspy.  And all that does is transform something into something that it really isn’t.  All that does is put conditions, boundaries and limitations on love. But, by resisting the temptation to live in that masked world of false reality we can open ourselves to more love and compassion and joy that is already a part of what really is.

And, then it becomes even bigger.  Because as we become more accepting of ourselves, we become more accepting of others.  We realize that when we can genuinely let love in, we can then genuinely let love out.  Everything becomes more spacious.  More vast.  And there is a surrendering to what really is.  When we settle into that space of loving acceptance of ourselves and others, we don’t confine ourselves or them to a set and very limited expectation of who we all should be.  Instead, we hold the space for everyone to completely real.

And, that, is way more simple and feels so much better than wearing a mask ever was.

I know that it’s Tuesday, but I just couldn’t wait until next week to start Mantra Monday.

My hope is that this can serve as a type of affirmation or intention that we can turn to during week…that it can be a thought that can help us connect to our own grace, power and potential…that it can tether us to our own limitlessness when we experience moments of weakness or fear…that it can remind us of the abundance of love that dwells in and around us…that it can remind us to be kind to ourselves and to others….that it can return us to a space of calm and intention when the terrific turmoil of life starts spinning us up and around…that it can remind us to smile and not take ourselves so seriously… that it can bring joy and help us to remember how blessed we truly are…that it can be whatever you may need it to be.

It seems remarkably appropriate to begin this little section of this blog with the following mantra that was so inspired by a little girl who unselfconsciously declared  “I CAN DO ANYTHING GOOD, yeah yeah yeah”! You have probably seen this video by now, but if you haven’t…watch it.

This little girl gets it.  Look at how she sees herself and how she sees her life. She stands there, unselfconsciously looking in the mirror, enthusiastically expressing the gratitude that she has for the people and things in her life, dancing to the thought that she “can do anything good.”  And because she believes it, it is true for her.  She doesn’t qualify anything nor does she add any exceptions or confine herself within certain boundaries.  There are no “buts” when it comes to what she believes that she can do.

I am willing to bet that when we were that age, we probably felt the same way at one time or another.  Can you remember how that felt? Maybe this week Jessica’s cute little mantra can help us to remember that our own potential is as vast as we want it to be and to see that we, too, can do anything good, yeah yeah yeah.  It’s all a matter of how we choose to see it.

See the world with open eyes and cherish the day in all its terrific turmoil

and random eccentricities- its hidden smiles and obvious secrets.

Open your arms to the blessings in your life and be grateful for who you are.

Each moment, second, instant in time is yours to embrace.

Live it, love it and be it!

Be one with life.

Be one with yourself.

Why do we practice yoga in a heated room?
Believe it or not, the benefits of practicing yoga in a heated room extend far beyond getting sweaty with a bunch of other half-naked yogis.  By practicing yoga in a heated room where the temperature is more reflective of your own body’s temperature, the benefits of the postures and the postures themselves are accessed in a safe and effective manner.

It just makes sense.  Consider how your body feels when you are on the colder side of things. Maybe a little tighter?  More restricted? More rigid? When I am cold, I tend to clench my fists, bring my arms tight alongside my torso and almost round over, trying to squeeze everything closer together in an attempt to generate heat.  This makes my muscles feel very tight and constricted.  Now imagine how your body feels when it is warmer.  Perhaps a little more supple?  More relaxed and spacious? More fluid and open?  This heat allows the muscles to release tension and invites us to enter the postures more deeply with greater ease and openness.

With the heat, the muscles and connective tissues become more elastic.  This increased elasticity creates greater range of movement and allows your body the opportunity to stretch more easily. Perhaps more important is the fact that this more fluid-like stretch can actually prevent injuries such as pulled muscles.

Another very significant benefit to practicing in a heated room is the release of toxins that occurs through sweating.  The generation of heat from within the body promotes detoxification through the skin, which is the body’s largest eliminating organ.   This helps to cleanse both the body and the mind.

It is important to prepare yourself, though, before moving through a vigorous and heated vinyasa practice.  Be sure to drink plenty of water, both before and after class.  Coconut water, which has been named “nature’s Gatorade,” is another really wonderful way to rehydrate and replenish your body’s fluids after sweating.  It is so important to stay hydrated.  But, try not to eat within two-three hours of practicing.  If you do need to nourish yourself, consider a light snack like juice, soymilk or a handful of nuts at least 30 minutes before class.  Because the likelihood of sweating is really high, bring a towel to place at the front and back of your mat to help prevent slipping.